Hearing her name, I bet you are conjuring exactly the wrong image of Jenni Shimizu. That is because Jenni Shimizu was once Jenni Borden, one of Josh's college roommates who left Macalester a solid blonde-haired blue-eyed Midwesterner, joined the JET program to teach English in Japan, and then fell in love with a local and stayed. She and her husband Fukashi now have three kids, live in Nagano, and send annual Christmas letters professing that her English is getting rustier and rustier from lack of use.
While I have never met Jenni Shimizu, I have a very fond notion of her. This is because I like her aforementioned cute Christmas letters that we always get, because Josh speaks of her very fondly, and because the bowls she sent us from Japan when we got married seemed to me incredibly sweet. They probably cost $4 due to some Japanese government subsidy, but the sight of a couple of bowls making it all the way from Japan in tact made me teary. One day I hope we can make it to Japan and I can get to meet her.
On that day, I hope she does not make me her eggplant soup. I mean, seriously, you live in Japan. CAN YOU NOT SEND ME A RECIPE FOR MISO?
Maybe Jenni has a cruel streak. After all, I've never met her.
Honestly, I don't even know if this recipe is more Japanese or more American. I mean, do the Japanese enjoy their vegetables? I have no idea. I just see eggplant and my brain shuts down. So much so that I actually made myself a separate lunch while the soup was cooking because I knew there was no way I'd eat it and this recipe was for Josh only. To add insult to injury, I did most of the shopping for this one at Trader Joe's, which meant my only option was the two-eggplant pack. Someone should go upstairs and tell that other eggplant that is just sitting in my refrigerator that is is merely waiting to die.
To add insult to insulted injury, the recipe also called for an onion. This time I employed my writing partner Mike's onion chopping method that he insisted, in uncharacteristic seriousness, would alleviate all onion eye problems. It calls for very elaborate and precise cuts to the onion that are supposed to cure all that ails me. First cut it one way, then cut it another way, but only under the light of the full moon. Then dance the watusi and shove it up my ass and put on a party dress. Or, you know, something.
I was 100% certain that this was not going to work. This certainty was bolstered not only by the failure of the previous ridiculous methods, but Mike's obvious backpedaling on the success of this method when I called him for a refresher course. 'It won't, you know, remove all the eye problems, but it should mitigate them. Somewhat.' Great, thanks.
I put Josh on standby to finish the cutting once my eyes teared up and proceeded to begin the surgical cuts. And then it turned out that MIKE'S ONION METHOD WORKS. You could have knocked me over with a feather. This could of course have been because an onion in the rectum destabilizes your equilibrium. That's just a medical fact. But regardless, his method worked as well as using a food processor. Color me shocked.
Adding to the shock - the recipe was actually decent. Yeah, you heard me. It was pretty, and veggie-ful, and the eggplant gets cooked and cut up enough in it to make itself less known to me. It was a healthy veggie soup, avec chicken (that of course you can omit if that is your proclivity). Josh proclaimed it 'incredible' and 'amazing', which you can agree is distinguishable from 'good'. He then drained his bowl, discussing how tremendous the chicken in it was. Bekah and Sean came by and I fed Bekah a bowl, too, which she enjoyed enough to want the recipe for. So there you go. I know nothing. And here's some decent soup.
Well, what the hell do I know?Summer Chicken & Eggplant Tomato Soup
Chicken breast (one? two? your guess is as good as mine)
2 tomatoes, wedged
eggplant, sliced 1/4" thick & quartered
1 onion, sliced thin*
1 clove garlic, pressed or diced
3 tbsp white wine vinegar (Jenni says: you may want less! I say: why?)
olive oil
rosemary (also in a conveniently nebulous quantity of 'no specification')
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup bouillon soup (chicken bouillon? veggie bouillon? beats me)**
Also: zucchini, summer squash, mushrooms, red & yellow bell peppers, etc. can be added. Whatever you have. I had orange peppers. Now you know.
Fry chicken white on outside, but not through. Deduce this is what the olive oil mentioned in the ingredients is for. Decide you can use your pepper-infused olive oil (more fancy presents from cousins) since there are peppers in the recipe. Have Josh come into the kitchen and disgustedly tell you in the future you should put a lid on a frying operation like this to prevent oil splatters from decorating the kitchen. Salt & pepper. Remove from pan.
Stir fry eggplant 'til almost tender. Have no idea how long this is. Throw in shitloads more olive oil. Add nebulous no-quantity-specified rosemary and others veggies (not tomatoes!). Start to realize this recipe also doesn't specify a lot of liquid. Wonder how it actually becomes 'soup'.
Pour in vinegar. Be relieved to put in liquid. Realize 3 tbsps is not a lot. Boil off the excess...this takes time. Not much, actually. Seriously, liquid?
Also realize at no point in the instructions does it say when to put the chicken in. Or if you are supposed to cut up the chicken. Determine that since the recipe is not called 'Summer Eggplant Tomato Soup with a side of mostly raw chicken cutlet' that it must go in, and probably should be cut up first. Cut up chicken into chunks, and decide it goes in now.
Add garlic & tomatoes. Mix ketchup and soup to fry pan (or soup pot). Look at fry pan (or soup pot). Determine there is no way in hell or anywhere else that this is enough liquid to qualify as a soup. A very chunky sauce? Sure. Ratatouille? Perhaps. Call in Josh for a second opinion. Dump in enough chicken stock to make it look like soup at his vehement suggestion.
Simmer 'til "delicious". Be angry that you have no idea how long that is. Decide it is as long as it takes for you to make a sandwich to eat while Josh eats the soup.
*Onion method: Mike Milch's crazy specific chopping method, which WORKS. Here it is: 1. cut off the peely end of the onion, NOT the hairy end. 2. Then cut the onion lengthwise in half (i.e., pole to pole, not across the equator). 3. Make more lengthwise cuts in each half, from top to almost the hairy end, but not cutting all the way through the hairy end. 4. Then cut cross-wise to make your chops. 5. Be shocked you made it this far without pulling your eyes out. 6. The end.
**This is crazily nowhere near enough. I say put in about 2 more cups of stock, otherwise you're basically making ratatouille.
Jenni Shimizu notes:
1. Chicken can be omitted for a veggie meal
2. If you are using zucchini, add it with eggplant because it takes time to soften, as well.
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