Cream of Portobello Soup

Remember when you were really out-of-your-mind excited to finish up the breakfast section, only to discover your next recipe was for mushroom soup? No? I do.

We have officially entered the soup stage of our lives, and let me just say from a brief skim of what's ahead that I am not overwhelmed with optimism. However, I have felt that way before, and then discovered the delight that is Ponzi Bread, so I should know well enough not to pre-judge.

The first recipe in the soup section was Trish & Ray Strah's Cream of Portobello Soup - Without Cream. Trish and Ray are super sweet friends of Josh's parents, and I actually don't mind mushroom soup, or mushroom concoctions in general - presuming said mushrooms are cut up into unrecognizable pieces before I get to them. There is something about a large in-tact mushroom that sours my stomach. But once you cut them up into the friendly slices you see on pizza, all is well.

Unfortunately for me, the portobello mushrooms I was able to find in the right quantity were not chopped up, which means I had to deal intimately with the dark inner cavern-y brush-y yucky parts while I chopped them up. That never starts one out on the right foot, and probably predisposed me not to love the recipe. That may also be impacted by the fact that I seem to find portobello too rich, as far as mushrooms go, and prefer less 'meaty' ones. I know - you think I'm picky. Eat me.

I also thought I was brilliant in that since the recipe didn't specify which type of potatoes to use, I got a package of small ones - because they came in the right amount AND would involve less chopping to get them to the right size. And, as this was another onion recipe, it was time to test market another one of your crazy onion chopping suggestions. This time I went with my old roommate Rachel's suggestion that a candle by the onion will burn off the vapors. Allow me to now report without question that this method is once again a wives' tale. I went downstairs, got a big candle, lit it, put it right by the cutting board, and then proceeded to experience my eyes burning in record time. I'm like my own personal episode of Mythbusters for you guys and your crazy onion chopping notions. I think you might just be making stuff up at this point to see me suffer.

The soup came out okay, fairly soup-looking, I guess. Once again, like most of the recipes I get out of Iowa, it is very hearty and could definitely prep you for a long day of turkey slaughtering. I found the thyme rather overbearing, though, it must be said. This may be because the recipe calls for 1/2 tsp dried thyme leaves, and I just put in 1/2 tsp of dried thyme. Does it perhaps want the full leaves and not the condensed spice bit? I have no idea. I have a feeling I would enjoy a variation on this that involved milder mushrooms and actual cream, which would explain why my old facialist used to yell at me about how I ate too much dairy. I don't go to her anymore.

I have a feeling that if you dig portobellos though, you might dig this. It certainly seems quite healthy to make your own veggie-ful soup. It's just turns out that I don't.

Look out turkeys, here I come

Cream of Portobello Soup -- Without Cream

1 pound potatoes, cut in 1/2 inch cubes (about 3 cups)
3 tbsp butter
2 lg carrots chopped (1 cup)
1 lg onion chopped (1 cup)*
1 tsp minced garlic (yay kitchen gadgets yay!)
1 pound portobello mushrooms, coarsely chopped (about 6 cups)
1/4 cup dry sherry
1 1/2 cup milk
1 cup chicken broth
1/2 tsp salt (or less)
1/2 tsp dried thyme leaves
pinch ground black pepper

In large saucepan, put potatoes and 3 cups water. Cook covered over medium-high heat until tender, about 10 minutes. Feel superior about your small potato choice. Hope using skins doesn't matter. Drain; set aside.

In large skillet over medium high heat, melt butter. Add carrots, onions, garlic, cook 5 minutes - barely tender. Be relieved as always when onions finally go into pan and stop tormenting you. Try to not be too mad at Josh for being in the middle of an online baseball videogame to be able to chop the onions for you after you realized the onion method was a miserable failure.

Add mushrooms, cook, and stir until mushrooms are tender, about 5 minutes. Try to get over weird, primeval revulsion at mushroom interiors.

Stir in sherry and cook 1 minute. Remove 1 1/2 cup mushroom mixture, set aside. Realize you are using a phenomenal number of bowls, plates, pans, etc. in the course of this recipe.

In food processor, put potatoes and remaining mixture from skillet. Process until smooth. Be alarmed at how gummy said mixture has become. Wonder if that is normal.

Scrape as much as possible out of food processor despite its glue-like consistency and pour into saucepan. Add milk, broth, spices, and reserved 1 1/2 cup mushroom mixture. Simmer over medium heat about 10 minutes, heated through.

Put in bowl. Note to self how it looks like gruel, albeit in a healthy way.

*Onion chopping method used: Rachel Cardone's 'candle will burn off onion vapors.' Myth: Busted.