Cheese Dreams

My (Great) Aunt Ellen was one of the world's truly gifted cooks, and, lucky for me, one of two stand-out exceptional cooks in my family (the other being my Aunt Marjorie). Paradoxically, despite her gift in the kitchen, she was a tiny slip of a woman. She was also sweet as they come.

My favorite memory of Aunt Ellen was when my grandmother took me to her apartment sometime when I was around 14. My grandmother, when in charge of me and my cousins, was very big on dragging us around with her to visit her friends/family. I don't know if this is because she wanted to show us off to people or if she just had friends she had to look in on and we were there (probably a little of both, if I had to wager), but it meant that I spent an unusual amount of time eating dusty nuts out of candy dishes at old people's apartments or being the 11th at a mid-week minyan (look it up).

The time I'm thinking of with my Aunt Ellen, she started insisting she give me alcohol. As I recall, she was informing me I would be drinking a Harvey Wallbanger, and then served me ginger ale and, perhaps, rum? I don't know. Maybe she gave me both. In any event, this was not the usual protocol in our family, and I'm not entirely sure why my Aunt Ellen decided I needed to be liquored up at her house, but I certainly wasn't complaining.

My other favorite memory of my Aunt Ellen was her 'Cheese Dreams', these amazing cheese puff things she would make at family events. When she died a few years ago, I was sure this crack-like recipe went with her to her grave. Then it showed up in my recipe book by way of her grandson's (my cousin Justin's) wife Karen (who is fabulous, as well as fascinating in and of herself for doing things like nearly being cast on the Real World). To say I nearly shat myself when I realized I had this recipe in my book is an understatement.

As a result, I have been making them for three years now. I make them for parties. I bring them to others' houses. I call them Cheesy Poofs a la South Park, although as I said, Aunt Ellen called them Cheese Dreams, and they are officially titled 'Hot Cheese Puffs' in my recipe book. Call them whatever you want, they are goddamn terrific. And extremely simple to make. And when Josh and I got invited to have brunch at our friends' Cassie & Judd's this weekend, the Cheesy Poofs went on the menu. Lucky Cassie & Judd, who quickly, I must confess, realized their magical addictive power. And now I bequeath them to you. Aunt Ellen, wherever you are, thank you.

Oh, delicious deliciosity

Hot Cheese Puffs (aka Cheese Dreams aka Cheesy Poofs aka Food Crack)

1 lb small curd cottage cheese
1/4 lb cream cheese - soft
3 tbsp sour cream - heaping
3 eggs
1/4 lb butter
1/2 cup Wondra*
Secret ingredients: A piece of eggshell that immediately disappeared into the miasma before I could get it out and possibly some dog and cat fur. Woops!

Combine all ingredients together in a mixing bowl. Mix. Think to self, 'Self, this doesn't look as lumpy as it usually does.' Realize you forgot to put in the Wondra. Put in the Wondra. Mix. Think, ah, now it looks like a slightly yellow-y bowl of cottage cheese like it should.

Spray & flour muffin tins (the tiny one-bite muffin tins, not the big normal muffin tins).

Fill to the top.

Bake @ 350 for 40 mins (often I have to bake for longer, but this time I preheated well and they were ready at the 40 minute mark. Magic.)

Turn over after 1 minute out of oven. Use knife to go around and free edges if necessary. Eat. Allow your head to be blown off by the addictive quality of Cheesy Poofs.

Also: they evidently freeze beautifully, but I eat them too quickly to know about that.

*Wondra, for those of you who do not know, is some crazy '50s type 'improvement' on flour that actually strips out any of the healthful qualities of flour. I had never heard of it before encountering the Cheesy Poof recipe and in all honesty could not decipher my cousin's handwriting and had no idea what the hell the recipe called for. That actually isn't quite true. I thought it said, 'Wondra,' but as I had no idea what the hell that was, was certain I was reading it wrong. We called Josh's mom, a nutritionist, who was able to inform us that the word was indeed 'Wondra,' and then went into a panic we were going to start eating only Wondra in lieu of flour and have bad nutrition. I suspect you can probably use regular flour in lieu of Wondra for this recipe, but frankly, I am not about to mess with greatness. Also, considering the entire recipe is basically, 'Pour 17 loads of fat into a bowl and eat it,' if you're deciding between Wondra and flour at this point I think you are splitting hairs. So Wondra it is.

NB: My mini-muffin tin has space for 24 muffins. This recipe makes (I would say almost exactly) 30 cheesy poofs. As a result, I always have overflow of cheesy poof batter. I use it to make a couple of bigger regular muffin sized cheesy poofs. They (obviously) usually need to cook a few minutes more due to their volume and blah blah blah boring. But trust me, wasting cheesy poof batter is a mortal sin.

You are welcome.