Aunt Dot's Brownies

Ah yes, more sweets. I guess I had to redeem myself after the flan debacle, and we had a party to go to so sweets were in order. Speaking of which, I was at the grocery today and I saw flan in the bakery case. It did not have a hole in the center. And while it was obviously more flan-like than my flan, it still had some drippiness about the bottom. All of this left me marveling at it, wondering how they did the hot water bath, and imagining some special industrial flan mold that would be able to create this flan without it floating awkwardly. What has become of me?

In any event, this weekend I baked my (Great) Aunt Dot's Brownies, given to me by my (Great) Aunt Marilyn. On my dad's side, both my grandparents had three siblings. My grandmother's siblings were her sisters Dot and Anne and her brother Mossie (A.K.A. Murray, but who called him that?). Anne died when I was very young, so I have only the shade of a memory of her. She was married to my Uncle Burt, who in a twist of grossness was the family gynocologist. He delivered me and several of my cousins, which I find completely horrifying, as I'm sure you'll agree. Things I don't need to hear include my uncle saying, 'The baby has a full head of hair. Woops. Nope. That's just you.'

Dot, who was married to robust and happy Uncle Morrie, I recall as being really preternaturally tiny and frail. She liked to ask me things like, 'When are you going to cut your hair?' And then follow it up with, 'Boys like short hair.' This, during the early '90s when everyone was trying to look like Julia Roberts.

And finally Uncle Mossie, whom I am given to understand as the only son was the golden child of the family, ran the family construction company that my dad now co-runs with Mossie's son. I think, if I recall correctly, he got his nickname because he was so glaringly bald so perilously young. What I definitely remember is that he was married to my Aunt Marilyn, and together they had poodles, and Jeeps, and kids who went to the University of Michigan and skiied in Vermont. Which is all to say that they exercised quite a bit of influence over my life for a Great Aunt and Uncle because all of those things I like very, very much. Well, not so much poodles, but the skiing and the Jeeps and the U of M alma mater absolument.

Growing up, I always thought my Aunt Marilyn was super glamorous. So glamorous in fact that when I was very little I used to get her confused with Marilyn Monroe. I didn't, you know, think she was a nude/dead '50s icon, but somehow the fact that they were both named Marilyn didn't seem entirely coincidental to me. She had (has) the most gorgeous silver hair, fantastic bangly bracelets, and at first a cool house, which then morphed into an even cooler condo in the city. She was into birds and animals and took me on Audubon hikes and taught me to make a terrarium. I thought (still think) she is super cool.

Her recipe for brownies, or rather Aunt Dot's recipe for brownies, is pretty interesting because, well, it's not brownies. It's blondies. I mean, there's no chocolate in them, save for the chocolate chips. That's blondies, right? Am I crazy? Well, yes, but still, I still think they're blondies.

They are also easy to make, thank GodJevohaVishnu, because I could use a triumph right about now. Josh, interestingly, got his hackles up when he heard blondies were on the menu because he has his own recipe for something of that ilk. When they were done, he took one bite and said, 'Whose recipe is this?' clearly wanting to make sure they weren't from an Iowan. I told him and he said, 'Mine are better,' which is pretty hilarious coming from Mr. It's Good. Later remorse set in and he recanted: 'I've been thinking about it. These are fundamentally different from mine. Mine are bars. These are cake. They're good.'

Either way, they were hoovered up quite merrily at the party, which I enjoyed watching surreptitiously as I staked out the dessert table. I will note that interestingly the chocolate chips seemed to settle at the bottom, so the blondies almost had two strata - one layer of just cake and one of chips & nuts. I have no idea how/why this happened as they were thoroughly mixed when they went into the pan. Ma nish ta na ha lilah hazeh, I guess.

I don't see no stinkin brownies

Aunt Dot's Inappropriately Named Brownies

1/2 lb butter
4 eggs
1 1/2 cup sugar (Aunt M now uses 1/2 Splenda. I think Splenda--like all artificial sweeteners--rots rat testicles off, so I will never follow that suggestion)
1 1/2 cup flour
12 oz chocolate chips
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla
salt
1+ cup nuts (or whatever nebulous quantity I had left in the chopped walnuts bag)

Beat eggs until they have a yellow color. Try just verbally abusing them, but find they still say separated, so have to go the old fashioned physical abuse route.

In a different bowl, beat sugar and butter and add together. Slowly beat in flour (mixed with salt, baking powder). Add vanilla and nuts.

Bake 35-40 minutes - toothpick should come out with a little batter. You don't want to overbake. I think I overbaked.

They should be moist! Good luck! (How did she know?)