Baked Butternut Squash Stuffed with Sausage and Apples

You mother-effers have got to quit it with this squash bullshit. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous.

Of course, this squash recipe is also from Jen Hatch (who evidently has a big boner for squash), and I just discovered that this recipe is actually considered in my book to be a main course, which means I shouldn't have made it yet. It snuck into the side dish section, written on the back of the other squash page; how was I to know?

In fact, I've made so much squash that at this point it has brought even Josh's polite Iowa-ness to its knees. As I mentioned the other day, when Josh heard squash was again on the menu, he came home with sushi. Ultimately I had to make it before the squash went bad, so he dealt with it, but not happily. This could be because he was still in mourning over Michael Jackson's death, but I'm sure the all-squash menu wasn't helping.

We invited Sean over for the squash on his final Friday night with us before his wife returned from Israel (Welcome Back, Bekah!!), and I think Sean was the only one of us who was really happy about it (the squash, not Bekah). I modified the recipe, which called for bulk sausage, and made it Sean-friendly with chicken sausage, which worked just fine. It had the squash scooped out and mixed in like Sean had opined was preferable when we tried the acorn squash recipe, and as he ate it he commented on the lovely combination of sweet brown sugar with the spice of the sausage yadda yadda blah blah.

I, on the other hand, ate my way around the squash bits and then dove into a box of Cheeze-Its. Josh grumbled his way through, and then grumbled again when he found out I was giving him the final squash half for lunch today. At least we had a fun Michael Jackson-inspired dance party while we did the cooking.

If nothing else, we have learned that a lack of variation in one's diet serves to lower morale. And that Josh, whether he admits it or not, doesn't much like squash.

Don't stop 'til you get enough

Spirit-Squelching Baked Butternut Squash Stuffed with Sausage and Apples

2 butternut squash (about 1 lb each)
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup well-seasoned fresh bulk sausage (about 8 oz)*
1 large tart green apple, peeled, cored, cut into 1/4" cubes (granny smith, yo)
1 tbsp packed dark brown sugar
2 tbsp butter
1/4 tsp sage
and additional 1 tbsp butter and 1 tbsp packed dark brown sugar

Place rack in center of oven and preheat 375F. Misread that and set to 350, which it turns out also works fine.

Lightly oil baking dish. Remove seed and string from squash and place cut side up in baking dish. Wonder which way you are supposed to cut THIS squash, since the equator seems distinctly wrong this time. Go non-equator, which poses the problem of cutting through the stems. Cut off stem end at top; cut through stem bit at bottom. Survive.

Think, 'This squash smells like pumpkin.' Further think, 'De-seeding and de-stringing is GROSS.' Contemplate barfing into emesis-tray-shaped squash. Think better of it. Also wonder why the other squash recipe calls for squash to cook face down and this one to cook face up. Decide, 'There are many mysteries of the universe I will never understand.'

Lightly brush squash with 1 tbsp vegetable oil. Cover with lid (no) or foil (yes), and bake until tender (approx 30-40 minutes).

Meanwhile, crumble into skillet and cook over medium heat the sausage until no longer pink. Have Sean try to use your fun apple slicer to core the apple, which turns out to be such a beast it is too big for the slicer, and therefore gets stuck on it. Delight in giving dinner guest a trick assignment without even meaning to.

Without draining the fat (of which there is very little since you are not using the bulk) add green apple. Think, 'This squash is a waste of a perfectly delightful green apple.' Cook. Stir for several minutes until crisp and tender. Remove from heat.

Scoop flesh from squash while shaking butt to Jackson 5 tunes. Discover this scooping is harder than you anticipated, which you now think might be because you set oven to 350 instead of 375. Mix squash pulp (lightly) into sausage mixture (careful not to break up squash). Think, 'Fat chance I could anyhow; it's big solid hunks.'

Mix in 2 tbsps butter, dark brown sugar, sage, salt and pepper. Pile stuffing into squash halves. Add additional butter and brown sugar, which makes no sense given the way the quantities are described and that the squashes are now filled out, but decide you should just sprinkle a little of the sugar and butter onto each squash, apportioning out the 1 tbsps that way. Which is fine since you didn't have the wrapping on the butter, which meant you were just eyeballing the '1 tbsp measurement anyhow so God knows how much actually wound up in the recipe.

Bake uncovered 20-25 minutes. Give to grumpy Josh for dinner and then again for lunch. Hope this is our last squash recipe.

*Substitute for the pork-haters in the hizzouse: Chicken spinach sausage.