Spring Fling Sugar Cookies

In case the lack of entries this week hasn't tipped you off, I have been a little on the extremely busy side. I'm on deadline with two scripts at once, which has put a serious crimp in my cooking style. And what do we do when we're pressed for time? Punt and visit the cookie section.

Next up on the cookie list was the Spring Fling Sugar Cookie recipe from the Brekkes Garden & Feed Store in Ames, IA via Josh's parents' friends the Lewises. As a Bostonian, one would imagine that cooking a recipe that originates from a 'feed store' would still shock, but I am well indoctrinated into the ways of Iowa and now experience virtually no urge to ask questions like, 'Will there be hay in the cookies?'

This recipe features interesting divergencies in specificities. That is to say, it commands I use not just any margarine, but Parkay margarine. Of course, there was no Parkay margarine at the store so I went with Fleishmann's. Does this make a difference? I have no idea. Later, it tells me to use soda, but does not say whether it wants baking soda, soda water, or what. I decided it wanted baking soda, but for all I know I dropped the ball and was supposed to put 2 tsp of Coca Cola in it.

Sadly, as much as a feed store recipe no longer gives me pause, that doesn't necessarily mean I have what it takes to carry it out correctly. This recipe is simple and straight-forward, and yet my cookies look enormous, mangly, and uninviting. And they are also underdone and feature invisible fluffs of straight flour on bits of them that taste like eating paste. Of course, that hasn't stopped Josh from eating them for breakfast today, but let's just say they are not my crowning glory. Luckily, I am heading to a bachelorette party for my cousin Sara in a matter of hours and will be bringing the surplus of cookies with me to fob off on the girls. This isn't exactly how I would like to represent my cooking skills to the public, but maybe I'll just get the everyone drunk first.

Not my finest hour

Spring Fling Sugar Cookies

2 stick Parkay margarine (if you can find it, bwahahahah)
2 cups sugar
1 cup oil
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 tsp cream of tartar
2 tsp soda (baking?? i hope??!!)
5 cups flour

1. Cream sugar and margarine until fluffy. Notice your mixer has now become absolutely filthy from such heavy use as of late. Resolve to wash the whole thing down, not just the mixing bowl & beater.

2. Add eggs (and shell bits), oil, and vanilla and beat until well mixed. Run out of canola oil half way through. Substitute the rest with two different types of olive oil because what the hell else are you going to do?

3. Sift dry ingredients together. Add one cup at a time to creamed mixture. Feel superior you are actually doing this the way they say intead of dumping it all in at once.

4. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets. Flatten with bottom of a glass dipped in flour. Realize after you have tasted completed cookies you should not, perhaps, have dipped the rounded glass before every cookie. Also, wonder how this rounded glass bottom would produce round cookies since it does not. Lots, and lots of wondering. Should be about 1/2 inch thick after flattening. Well, at least you did that part right.

5. Bake at 350 for about 8 minutes. Let cool on baking sheet to complete baking (1-2 minutes). Discover the hard way your oven requires WAY MORE than 8 minutes for these guys. Remove & frost if desired. Do not read that last bit until you are writing your blog. Realize that frosting would probably make them much better.