Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake

Josh is out of town for a change. I say 'for a change' because usually either we are traveling together or it's me who is away. But right now he's in Tahoe partying it up with other planners at a conference and the boys and I are here holding down the fort.

Previously when Josh has gone away (or vice versa), I'm all excited leading up to it. Yes! A night to myself! Then five minutes after he is gone I suddenly stare the the empty house and become immediately convinced I am going to die without him. How can I survive in this giant enormous city all by myself!? It's all very dramatic.

This time I tried to prep in advance for the oncoming onslaught of 'Oh God, I'm going to die.' I made plans with some friends and set the DVR to record every movie I had even a vague interest in seeing (NB: Appaloosa lost me within seconds by casting Jeremy Irons as an Old West villain, and stop calling Showgirls 'campy'-- it's not, it's just bad).

This strategy, plus a heavy diet of chores (triumphing over learning to use the lawn mower without losing a toe!) and ensuing disasters (another ant outbreak and a temporary iPhone crisis) kept me quite busy for a time.

By last night though, the boys and I entered full-fledged 'We miss Joshy' mode. Big was pacing around and I was at sea on what to have for dinner. And the cat? Well, here is what the cat is doing in his absence --

Yes, that IS Stripey having a pee in the herb garden.
Thank you for noticing.

-- which, if nothing else, explains the sudden, dramatic death of the heretofore robust thyme plant.

Ultimately, I decided that making a big Recipe Book dinner without anyone to pronounce everything 'good' and/or eat all the ample leftovers was a bad idea. But it was a good idea to make one of the sweets - those are good for breakfast after all. So I went to the ghetto grocery in search of ingredients for Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes from Josh's cousin Sarah.

Between the two of us, Josh and I have three cousins Sara(h), which I think is pretty impressive. This one in question falls down on the Huntington side of the equation. She currently lives in what seems to me the most marvelously Martha Stewart-y part of New Jersey--if her Colonial house-, overstuffed chair-, and schnauzer-held-proudly-in-crook-of-arms-filled Christmas cards are any indication. I think she is also about to add a baby to the picture, which of course is very exciting.

When said baby arrives, cousin Sarah can feed it her Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake, which, after making it, I will say can rival any pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving dessert. It is full of an inordinate amount of canned, boxed and processed crap, and as such tastes pretty good--albeit less cheesecake-y than I was hoping/anticipating. Here are some of the ingredients: a box of cake mix, canned pumpkin, a tub of cream cheese, a box of powdered sugar. Ah, nature's finest.

As much as I want to make fun of it, though, I didn't screw up the Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake--a pretty astounding feat, but a true one. The center is properly perfectly squishy and gooey without being runny at all. The cake tastes good. It was a long- and sorely-needed dessert triumph.

I still want Josh back, though.

Pumpkin pie? I don't need your stinkin' pumpkin pie.

Sarah's Heather-proof Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes

Cake:
1 box yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tbsp melted butter

Filling:
1 8oz cream cheese
1 15 oz can of pumpkin
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 box powdered sugar (??!!)
8 tsp melted butter (tbsp??)
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon

Go to ghetto grocery, certain they will have all these ingredients. Discover that due to its new facelift, it is now bursting at the seams with people - full parking lot, long lines, etc. Then get tailed to your car by a homeless man and know things aren't that different after all.

Preheat oven to 350. Turn on hose to water front lawn. Combine cake ingredients in bowl and mix with mixer, keeping vigilant lest any ants realize you are making food that might be tastier than the ant traps lining the window sill. Pat onto bottom of greased 13x19 pan, panicking over which which pan is right as your recent chocolate cake, cigarettes russes, and lemon square attempts (for starters) have taught you the importance of the right pan.

In bowl, beat cream cheese (softened in microwave!) and pumpkin. Be annoyed that ghetto grocery only had giant 30 oz cans of pumpkin (why?!) and you are going to have to waste the other half when you blissfully discover you have two normal-sized cans tucked away in the cabinet. Yay pack rat tendencies!

Add eggs, vanilla, and butter. Realize, at this point, that the instructions claim you are to use 8 teaspoons of butter. Think: Um, this can't be right. Not only is butter not commonly given in tsps, but 8 tsps don't even divide correctly into tablespoons. But then again, everything else in that part of the recipe is in tsps, so it would make sense it was in the tsp range. Think: But butter is commonly given in 8 tbsps, as that's one proper stick of butter. And this is called 'butter cake'.

Sit on fence. Initially put in around 3 tbsps of butter because that is roughly in the neighborhood of 8 tsps and goddamnit you are supposed to follow these instructions. Then hedge your bets and put in another tbsp just to make it half of the stick of butter that you are pretty sure it is supposed to be. Put butter away, then go back, take it out again, and dump in the rest of the stick of butter. Goddamnit it you are sick of making things wrong. Follow your instincts and logic for once. It's a typo. She meant 8 tbsps. There's an entire box of powdered sugar in it; it's not far off to think there would also be a stick of butter. Turn on fan to clear out smoke from your ears.

Beat again. Add box of powdered sugar (good God, really? a whole box?), cinnamon, nutmeg and mix well. Spread over cake batter.

Bake 40-50 minutes. Center should be gooey. Serve with whipped cream, or Cool Whip to complete the processed crap ingredients list. Whee! Cool Whip!

Eat with left over garlic bread and cheese sticks for a nutritious, carb-loaded dinner. Add one pickle to make sure you get your vegetables. Remember several hours later you forgot to turn off hose. Post blog before you go away for a few days with Josh.

Sarah notes: I love anything pumpkin flavored and this is a good alternative to a standard pie.

Heather notes: 8 tablespoons. Table.